The Samaritans Recorded Helpline

Thank you for calling the Samaritans
To talk about killing yourself press 1
Press 2 if you have already begun

To talk about depression press 3
And remind yourself
This service is free

If you feel angry
Please press 4
Or alternatively
Sign up for war

Press 5 if you want to stay alive
Press 6 if you don’t care
Don’t press 7
No one is there

Press 8 if it’s too late
Press 9 if there’s time

If you just want to hear someone’s voice
Please press 10
This recorded message will begin again

First written 23/04/2004 © Mark Scotchford

Please note, this poem is in no way meant to undervalue or undermine the work the Samaritans do or the people who are left with nowhere to turn but call them. It is a mere tongue in cheek look at how their recorded voice greeting would be if they had one. As everything else now does.


About markious72

Here I wish to let my strange and vivid imagination and opinions run wild. I do hope you like what you read. I would love to be a writer, I won't pretend otherwise. Although it is only in the last couple of years that I have realised it. I guess if it meant to happen it will. Happy reading, happier writing. :-)
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