Or to put it another way, what makes someone gay? I think there are various contributing factors in determining someone’s sexuality and it is never as simple as suggested. Like any human being, genetics, the environment in which they are raised and other social influences will all play a vital role in how we all turn out, in more ways than one.
Whilst I believe it is very possible for people to be born gay, I think we are forgetting how the environment in which we grow up can affect our development and our sexual orientation.
Please feel free to prove me wrong but I bet you, a packet of minstrels, George Michael, Elton John, Justin Timberlake (joke), Stephen Fry, and a number of other people in the public eye who are gay, didn’t have a good relationship with their father, if indeed one at all. Obviously the same is true for girls as well, and also in relation to their fathers. I’m not saying this happens in all cases, and there are noticeable exceptions, Tom Cruise, Michael Caine, and Eminem to name a few, but it must happen.
I think it is entirely plausible for a child in development to distance itself from the ‘problem’ father or relationship in order to survive and ensure development. If the child is worried, scared or unloved, it must side with the naturally more nurturing parent. This is to ensure its own development and yes, that word again, survival. The brain works in opposites in some respects so the child may distance itself, opposing itself from the traits displayed from the parent it deplores. For example, if the father is creative, dislikes sports, likes a certain type of music and hates maths, the child may be the opposite of this. They may get really get into sports, maths and end up being a professor. This isn’t to say these traits didn’t already exist genetically it just maybe they were buried, for a variety of reasons, and yes, I’m afraid I have a theory on this too.
For example a friend of mine is exceptionally creative and owns his own very successful business. His dad gave him such a hard time when he refused to study, did poorly in tests and didn’t show any interest in a proper career. His dad was exceptionally methodical, and very fastidious in every undertaking. He was very averse to risk taking and wouldn’t ever take a chance or allow his imagination to take over. He was a very successful accountant. It transpires that his father was a very creative, risk taking kind of guy who ended up losing a fortune in a business venture. My friend’s dad obviously told himself never to take a risk, always try to guarantee the outcome of a venture, and never to take a chance on something not certain. It was clear, my friend had this genetic fingerprint, this creative, entrepreneurial flair which he couldn’t conceal, like his father did.
Now you may think it is an extraordinary leap to get from here to a boy turning gay but it isn’t really. The example above shows us to develop either like our parents or opposite to them, in some ways, as our development and nurturing takes place. The leap from liking or disliking sport depending on whether we got on with our dads, to being gay if we really despised him isn’t that far a leap when you factor in violence and abuse, etc. I think the genetic blueprint can definitely have another influence here, where heterosexuality is very strong. For example, I would bet another packet of minstrels that Eminem’s, Michael Cain’s, and Tom Cruise’s dad were very womanising and as heterosexual as they come. This made it more difficult for their sexual orientation to change. George Michael’s dad was a womaniser too, but maybe it wasn’t as strong. Yes, what I am saying here is categorically and undeniably in my opinion, (without foundation or qualification), that if George had got on better with his father, he would be heterosexual and not homosexual. George, if you read this, feel free to put me straight. (No pun intended)
If you don’t believe my theory think of this as an experiment we could never try. Take a new born male baby from a middle class family, with no history of homosexuality and place that baby with a gay couple until the child is 15. Now do the same with a baby girl with a lesbian couple. Do you seriously believe the chances of those babies developing into heterosexuals haven’t severely diminished because their environment has drastically changed?
I believe it has.